Moment of sudden pause.. Train whistle blowing louder & louder….Someone waving from the coach & asking me to run & enter the train…my precious baby smiling at me…But my heart thumping & pounding…A heavy heart,Deep pain & tears in eyes ,I felt that this train passes on like those roaring winds besides me & I would be here forever ,forever within the concealment & heaven of so called “Mom-Dad’s saaya” ..
No matter what others mean to me, but the pain to leave them ,the sadness to not see them again for few months ,the remains of yummy “Kabooli” still pertinent in my taste ,the laugh & Jokes cracked on the Dinner table ,the memories of Mom keeping “mannats” for good happenings in our lives , & that of Dad re-living his childhood with his newly born grandsons ,The delight to see lavish delicacies in front of your eyes with just a single word “Hunger” going in their ears ,their love .. An unconditional love.. had made me speechless when the day to bid them good bye came.
[These beautiful months (7-8months) came in my life almost after 4.5 odd years post my marriage & 5 years of my higher education, when I was expecting my first baby. After approx.9 long years had I got this magnificent time spread over 7-8 months to be with them..]
Lost in the memories ,I could see my husband running down the coach & pulling me along..Completely absent in these thoughts, I just waved them Good bye, as they smiled & showered their good luck for my 4 month old kid.
Re-gaining my senses ,I couldn’t stop my tear glands & cried for some 10-12 minutes un-consolably ,but in my entire life ,had it been exams or medical entrances or even a baby..It seemed that all past happenings were of a far lesser magnitude compared to this day ,when once again I lost my childhood ,I lost my ways to be irresponsible ,I lost my path to be a demanding & a naughty child ,I lost..I just lost many things 😦 .The aching heart swelled up!! With deep sigh, I sat in the train itself to write down this letter for my Parents, who are close to God for me!
“Ma –Papa , is there something else called GOD ,or it is the synonym of the so called “Parents? Can worshipping GOD be better than taking care of you? Can going to a temple to find solace be better than a sleep in “mother’s lap”? Can asking God to fulfil wish be better than asking Dad to get that wish? I believe ,the answer to all these is a big “No” .For me ,the past few months I’ve spent with you were the greatest ,preeminent ,& the most magnificent time of my entire life I’ve led. God gave me this grace to spend so much time after education & marriage under your shelter, to re-live & be a child once again, to live being a daughter to you once again. Why is it that a daughter has to leave her parents & go away from them just because of a word in the oxford..So called “Marriage”? My heart sinks; my eyes cry & mind spills of every relation thinking of this! I could just die of thinking ,that why do we have to leave our God’s when they were the ones ,who made us what we are today ,a good human , who cared & loved us the most ,who did the maximum sacrifices to see us giggle ,who ran from pillar to post to see a broad grin on our face .I just want to join hands & pray that one day somehow I could just return back to you ,to be with you ,to care for you & to love you forever.
I would think myself credible enough if I could pass on the legacy of love showered by you to our children ,if I could pass on the same “Sanskaras” to be a great human to the next generation .Sometimes I feel that how much I do ,I could never ever shower 100% of your love & care to our children ,the struggles & sacrifices you did for us!
Ma-Papa ,I have again learnt so many things from you in these past 8 months ,I assure you that I will try to imbibe them in life thoroughly to be happy & contented with what so ever we have today. Agree ,trying to be a pampered child did make me do something wrong as well ,some things might have even hurt you ,for which today with a deep heart ,I say Sorry to you ,as I can never be happy making you sad.
It’s true that I can never shower off your giving’s ,I can never equate myself to you ,but I would be very happy even if I could be 50% of you ,50% of the qualities you both have! We were your sons, before & even today & I promise will always be. You will never find the loss of support or absence of love in any of your phases of life. I would always try to react & bring smile to your faces even before you speak & share your dilemma’s with us ..We are your part..We are your”Ansh”, just remember me & I’ll be there besides you leaving all in this life, to love you ,to care for you.
There is no bigger gift of life anyone can shower upon except the gift of our “Parents” ..You always thought & worked for us , You always earned to make us happy.. But now , we are settled enough ..both of you spend some quality time together ,now is the time that you reap the benefits you have adorned life long ,Live life just for yourselves now !
I could just pray to God ,to give you both a long ,healthy & a hearty life ..Miss you both lots & lots & lots!! Good bye “
Train had crossed its 1st station & night had fallen…Co-passengers switched off the lights ,everybody on their berths …I closed my Pen ,folded the letter & kept in my purse & went to sleep re-dreaming of beautiful pages being turned around in my life once again!!
*A true letter from me & my sister for our mom Dad!!
This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.