Blissful Journey!!

Motherhood is an amazing feeling, which imbibes in itself an emotion of love, care, merriment, compassion. But the road to motherhood is not an easy path, along with lovely sentiments, it does brings struggle towards the responsibilities, pouts of pain on hearing the cries, an unknown fear towards the future of child and many more. But not just the challenges begin post bringing the little baby in this world, but for a female, for a working female, the challenges begin much before.

As the nuclear family culture is on rise & joint family culture is nearly eroding, the decision to plan a baby for a working woman is the most difficult task .A female has to compromise on her career, on her ambition & opt for the family route. Similar was my situation some 1 year back ,the questions of continuation of my professional life hounded me day night .None of my family members would be with us for sure & it was just me who had to manage the little child & professional work load. The questions as –Would any of my family be there to support my desire of working post baby? Am I ready to take the responsibility of entering into the phase of motherhood? Can I nurture the child with full justice? My ambition towards my career will anytime be an impediment to this decision, whether it’s taken today or later on. But despite these questions ,one day this decision had to be taken, so, firmly the decision was taken & I welcomed my beautiful child some 7 months back.

My desire to continue with the profession was somewhere hidden for the fear of getting no support from the family for the first 3 months. I just tried thinking day night, but could not arrive at any solution to convince my family. Rather, looking at the strong sense of my in-laws to resign as soon as possible , was too hard for me to digest. How could I leave my career of 6 years behind? Why did I study so hard to have glorious academics & then have a successful career? It was not made for this day, a day that my child would be brought into this world, I would have to quit my other life. No, who so ever may protest, I had to be very firm on my mind-set & find some solution to cater to my ambitions, along with my child.

So the first step I took was to convince my husband ,& to the most pleasant surprise ,he was with me ,he lend me full support not to put a question mark on my career. This gave me immense strength & a confidence to manage up both the responsibilities with 100% justice. The very next day I decided to have a discussion with my management & started for my office.

The feeling of landing up at work place was so pleasant, so warm, a new hope of positivity ushered me.

Not just my husband ,my management was there with me ,so considerate & so understanding .They did gave me a chance to prove myself ,but being a new mom in a nuclear family ,I was allowed to initiate half day work from home. That was the biggest gift my management could have given me. Happily, I arranged for my maid to be with my kid for 4 hours during which I was away from home. For some 15 days I trained my maid on all the basics (although she was experienced) ,desires & naughtiness of my kid .I did gave out some time for my kid to get accustomed to the caretaker for few hours before joining the office. Things turned out very well, it has been 3 months that I have been working in this manner.

I’m with my kid from morning, prepare his meals daily (as he is in his weaning phase), start for the office & come back in 4 hours. Then it’s me, my kid & yes office work in between as & when I get time.

So really GOD is great, for every moment, for every desire he is there along with us .Anything tried deeply from the bottom of heart is bound to work sooner or later.

This was a new life for me, a life which I fought from the elders to live ,a life which I want every working female to understand that to begin a family should never be an obstacle to the hardly built up career. Not necessary one might get the support of management & husband the way I got, but it was my resolution to keep the head high. Even in the adverse situations, one can always be an entrepreneur & design their lives along a new path.

This phase has actually been blissful for me, my kid & my profession.

This blog has been written for https://housing.com/, wonderful change, and wonderful life. Do check out the beautiful video embedded-

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The Lost Journey…Enchanting passions

A dream doesn’t becomes reality through magic ,it takes sweat ,determination & hardwork !! Colin Powell

Dreams ,Hopes ,aspirations ,wishes, vision ,all play an important role not just in our lives but also act as the biggest mentor to achieve & accomplish these dreams. Who haven’t thought of getting on road on Rolls Royce or going to Mars ,well many of us would have wished to but yes we all live in a world which is full of constraints ,which is full of ambiguity towards life .

Every step marched ahead needs to be carefully looked into with the responsibility of someone dependent on you, with the accountability of your deeds towards your family. Sometimes ,a dream gets vanished for the sake of happiness of family ,sometimes it gets loaded with so many other aspirations that the road for its completion is almost lost ,or sometimes it just sits awaiting for the right moment (which might last from few days to few years).

Whatever might be the reasons ,in this hustle bustle of our lives ,with the cultural values we have been pinned into ,many a time dreams entangle itself & remain in our dreams only . It takes guts ,challenge , a bold spirit to deviate from the destined path & let your dreams come true ,after all we have the freedom to see ,nourish & cherish those lively dream of ours:)

Same is the story of me ,an Indian girl ,a girl brought up in a modern family ,very naughty, jovial ,lively ,full of happiness, but lost somewhere in the path of success ,a path to become pride of her parents ,a path to fulfil their dreams & to make them happy ,& yes she succeeded in this resolution. My excel & numerous Gold medals in higher studies brought accolades to them ,they were being congratulated upon every step I took forward & excelled. But, amongst this tiff of my heart & mind, I almost lost everything, every small dream I had ,be it from plucking my favorite daisies ,to roam around every week & explore new places ,to visit the world some day ,laugh with the nomads ,fight against anti -female protagonists ,to enlighten the world with a single word “Humanity” !

Well ,all these seemed a beautiful lane passed through ,as I entered into the world full of responsibilities ,a new world ,a new family post marriage. But ,my little world ,my husband ensured that I live every dream of mine ,with the same ecstasy ,same naiveness which I had before & slowly I began my journey to enlighten myself. Definitely ,all of my dreams ,some weird ,some vague to start up ,have not been given a momentum to ,but yes my journey to fulfill my lost ambition has definitely begun!

This topic of “Befikar Umar bhar”,actually rolled out my thoughts in a reel ,trying to again see my weirdest of the dreams to come true ,if I were actually “befikar” ,If I had just me in my life (& no-one dependent or with no responsibility towards others) ,so here goes my 5 cravings from my life :

1. A journey to Space -Since kid ,I was so curious to explore the kids ,staring into the dark night ,with those starry affairs ,thinking of the Milky way , plotting out planets(Mars ,Jupiter,venus) & stars ,constellations ,Big dipper & so many other things. This galaxy has always fascinated me & till date,I dream of foraying into space someday .Dunno the probability of returning back or the state of affairs there but still this is the biggest dream I want to nourish

2. Swim & Cross English Channel :One of the most iconic Open water Swim ,but currently one of the most challenging swim ,with the water temperatures varying between 15-18 degrees ,harsh air temperatures, when you get to know that it is more warm in water than outside,when you know that even 3-min of feed per hour can make you a target of those immense tides against youJ But yes ,some day ,I’m bound to cross it braving the adverse factors.

3.Marathon on North Pole : Well sounding too shivery ,but yes I would love to conquer the world with this coldest Marathon ,amongst that Icy world ,too close with those beautiful creatures on the snow:)

4.Own a part of Bora Bora island in my name – Well that’s where I need ample of Pocket money;) ,Let my networth increase & allow me some funding ,I’m gonna do it even when I’m 80;)

5.Finally to be an Entrepreneur ,registering my company “Adventure Locks & Flocks” ,a company to cater to all Adventures of life ,ranging from the simpler ones to the most weird ones .

Although I need to mention my five befikar dreams but my list goes long ,as I see a new dream every day ..I love dreams ,to be in dreams ,to think of making them a success & agreeing to the Quote “ The future belongs to them ,who believe in the beauty of their Dreams .. Eleanor Roosevelt”

Insurance is one such product which helps one re-live the dreams ,hence this blog has been written for IDBI federal Life Insurance Co. in association with indiblogger .

Check out the link & video embedded to have a “ Befikar Life” http://bit.ly/BefikarUmarBhar

I’m MOM -Master of Multitasking: My Journey from Or to And

 My Journey from “Or to And”

There cannot be true democracy unless women’s voices are heard. There cannot be true democracy unless women are given the opportunity to take responsibility for their own lives” – Hillary Rodham Clinton

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Is women born to make sacrifices, to forgo her plans of life initially for the happiness of her parents, then for Husband & In laws & then for her Kids?
But the question comes as to Why only Women?? It has more to do with the Indian culture, the society we live in & the values in which we have been brought up ,the society which still assumes woman handling the sole responsibility of taking care of home & her family ,of nurturing the child ,but it has never ever thought of the working woman looking after home & nurturing the child .

Men ,if you ever wanna know what a woman’s mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2857 tabs open all the time ! She is multi-tasking!

Why are we assumed to perform only one task at a time ,Is it just an extension to the older times when women were confined to homes & men were treated as bread earners ?Why even when researches dominate that women are Multi tasker’s, as a result of their better planning & strategies ,our families still constrain us to go for the option of “OR” & most of the times that OR ,as per the family is opined towards betterment of family ,but to ask us ,it actually dwindles away the hopes & ambition of a women .A woman can easily manage a Lion’s share of household & childcare chores ,along with the sense of full or part time work ,which is because we tend to equate priorities ,organize our responsibilities& don’t just jump into. Studies say that “women might possess higher level of cognitive control than men wrt planning, monitoring and inhibiting behaviour”.

Well I believe ,that most of the Indian women might have faced these challenges in their lives & post resentment ,One would have fallen prey to family wishes discarding self inner feelings to pose as an idealistic Daughter or Wife or Mother. Bust ,just ask yourself ,are you so weak that to explore & nurture your ideas ,your ambition ,you need to fall prey to those emotional stings? We, The women have the qualities to dissuade, to convince our families & we are the best force to prove that we alone can handle & justify numerous tasks with 100% efficiency & competency.

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Well ,like all I have also faced few instances wherein I was de-motivated (on the name of justice to role)& forced to opt for single role in the family ,but I was not the one to let my ambition pass away that soon ..I went ,I ran & caught them ,savoured the fruits of my ambition & corroborated my success not by judging the best responsibility done ,but by exemplifying myself as an “Epitome of Modern day Women ,a confident women ,who can manage her numerous roles hand in hand & that too with utmost ecstasy & excellence”.

So it all began ,(post 3 years of marriage)with elderly pressure flowing in on high, to expand the family ,but as these days ,wherein both the partners are working ,ambitious about their career & growth in life ,this tricky situation calls for a genuine delay & takes a toll on one ,especially on the feminine part of the wheel…But yes ,few questions kept pondering me then ,How long will I delay it? One day I’ll have to enter Motherhood & sensing a strong signal of taking a sabbatical from work to be a care taker. Would any of my family be there to support my desire of working post baby? Am I ready to take the responsibility of entering into the phase of motherhood? Can I nurture the child with full justice? My ambition towards my career will anytime be an impediment to this decision, whether it’s taken today or later on.
All these questions hovered around my mind, & after a huge bewilderment ,I was firm…My decision was yes ,I’ll enter into the phase ,let me take the life as it comes ,I’m not that weak to surrender my passion ,my charm. There needs to be 200% justice to both the objectives of Motherhood as well as of the Profession, the profession which gives you everything, from leading a desired lifestyle to the social significance & Motherhood ,which gives you the immense pleasure of life.

As was expected ,with the happiness ushering out of the little innocent tender baby ,it was at the back of the minds of my family ,to define & restrict me to only one role ,that of motherhood. & one day over the discussion ,this decision was enforced on me to quit my Profession & be a good Homemaker & caretaker of my kid ,none bothering to question my aspirations ,none hoping to find some mid solution to my ambition ,instead I was filled with so much of scepticism ,that if I opted for Job this time ,It would have filled me with deep guilt & would have proved that I could not be a good mother & been fair with my little kid. In their thoughts, The duty of a mother is only to care & up-bring her child.

Days & weeks passed by ,with the same thought pondering me ,but as my leaves came to an end ,I wanted to face this world booming with self confidence & make a new start by handling my profession as well as enjoying motherhood..

Our female leaders have all emerged out of these situations & this is the moment wherein a women needs to be balanced emotionally as well as intellectually! If Arundhati Bhattacharya ,Chanda Kochar , Kristin Armstrong could have done it few years back ,why can’t I? They have been my role models & I have to earn my name for the uphill tasks I’ve dealt in.

Few battles are worth fighting ,so, pretty decisive of not calling it a quit & enter into sabbatical, I went for a discussion with my management to impart some flexibility & I was so very thrilled on the first few words of my Manager ,A senior Vice president of the organization “ We feel women can handle multi-dimensional things & all at the same moment ,we believe that you are capable of doing justice to both the arduous professions & we ensure to be completely flexible & lend out support to fulfil both the chores” ! What else God! These words radiated a new Joy ,new shine & acted as morale booster to be proud of my decision to join back some 15 days later.

Well ,there was no looking back ,I drove swiftly back to my home to share my happiness with my husband & to my belief ,my husband stood out with me ,embracing my thoughts ..What a respite that was! Suddenly winds seemed to be blowing from other end ,calming me down ,inducing productive thoughts ,ushering a new ray of cheerfulness around me. Quickly entered into the mode of employing a fulltime helper (known to me for past 2 years),training her to feed my baby ,sing lullabies , to make him sleep, play with him, during few 3-4 hours when I would be at my office .Observing her for a week gave a thumbs up ,as my darling gelled with the good caretaker. Belief was the biggest factor ,in the absence of any family member ,keeping the kid alone with the helper even for an hour was tedious ,but yes our mutual faith made it happen!

Preparations for my Day1 at office began ,rescheduling all the work timelines ,prioritizing them ,making my baby comfortable ,feeding &massaging him ,cooking lunch was what I was supposed to do before my day started at office & I did complete all the tasks in hand on time ,with very much the same passion& warmth as it was earlier! Returning from office demanded my baby’s bathing ,changing ,feeding ,playing ,to be his mini Joker , more kiddish & big chatterbox, singing all self –formed lullabies ,talking all non sense ,making silly faces & laughing from nowhere ,just to see smile & happiness on his face, sharing all these intimate moments with him to show my love ,compassion & care for him.(& yes making presentations ,data mining, in between for the office work)
Day 1 was super anxious ,meeting all the colleagues ,answering their queries ,it was a wonderful re-union I felt !It was also an inspiring moment for 2 of my female colleagues who were expecting in some time(& with the same circumstances of family apprehensions ,nuclear family stand) ,this feeling to motivate them ,to steer them towards their sense of independence became my aspiration ,I yearning for them to not chose “OR” but be a part of “AND” fraternity & celebrate the happiness of life!
It’s been some 3-3.5 months now ,though things have become pretty hectic but it has not drained me .A look at my life ,my baby de-stresses me out completely & I’ve discovered a new energy in my working styles. I can proudly say that I’m giving my 100% to both my love (Motherhood & profession) & none of my responsibility stands out neglected or undermined. My aspiration to touch pinnacles in my career, along with blessing my kid with all “Sanskaras” ,all support to let him grow into a confident,responsible young man remain intact!
Well ,on a lighter note ,I’m not just managing 2 biggest tasks hand in hand…But yes my first passion ,my first love (before my profession & kid came into my life) –my write ups in the form of Blogs ,keep kindling me up & spreaden the aura of radiance around me..

So I’m a happy Manager ,An ecstatic Mother ,A thrilled Blogger ,A magnificent Home maker & A Contented Human Being!

Hats off to the modern women!! Welcome us & help us inspire many more!

This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.

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