My Memoir

Everyone in this world need love ,an unconditional love be it from Spouse or Parents or Siblings or close friends ,as this love is the panorama which provides immense strength ,faith in ourselves ,it acts as a booster dose to move ahead in life post failures or agonies ,it is the only refresher which motivates one to take the risk ,go ahead & capture the dreams sought after .

However strong one may be ,there is always an emotional side of a person ,which always need expression in some form or the other ,which might be in the form of immense care or it could be just 5 minutes of togetherness which fills life with radiance. Being an ambitious girl with respect to studies & career & post that marriage has posed many challenges in front of me ,there were many instances in my life wherein my parents & my friends ushered a new light ,a new hope in my life ,looking at the negative circumstances with optimism ,fighting against the odds & moving ahead in life. For me, Love & support from them has always been the riding factor of life.

With such a beautiful topic in hand relating challenges with optimism, I would love to narrate one of the incident during the fundamental & the most decisive year in my education life. With high hopes & dreams to have a tag of “Dr.” ,I was deeply & madly engrossed in my preparation of entrance for MBBS .I has given my complete 1 year for the preparation ,with average of 18 hours of study daily to excel & ensure my parent’s dream come true. Such had been the condition, that my house lady pitied me upon, & took special care of me in all terms, be it food, or freshness or love or any of my requisite. Seeing me so much engrossed in my dreams, she herself made a motive to be my endearing support & help me out in all possible manners. From morning till night ,she was there besides me & acted like a second mother to me(in the absence of my mom with me ,as I was in another town to take up the tutorials).She used to check me out in the night ,& even sometimes made me sleep in her lap. Such was her radiance that her one smile made me calm & ushered optimism in me. Days & months passed by ,we had filled up some 3 entrance test ,3 best in India ,but the seats in comparison to the applications has always been a challenge for the top tier institutes but I had a firm confidence in me up clearing the entrances for top notch ones.

The day came to write up the exams, with folded hands, my time either went to pray to God or to just revise my hardwork, & exams did go well &I was desperate to see the outcome of my work. Post writing up my exams, I had moved back to my home, to be with my family & have some quality time. But the phase between writing exams & announcement of the results always kept on hounding me & aggravated my feelings on seeing the frequent discussion about it at home. It was the worst phase ,neither could I laugh loudly nor could I be as I was …For me ,it was just the result awaited which would decide upon my fate.

One month later ,results announced ,1^st test I was 4^th Waiting ,2^nd Test I was 10^th & 3^rd I did not clear all together ..So shattered I was …No one could guarantee waiting clearance, my mind stopped working, I was into tears, where did I lose? Where could have I been negligent ,How did I miss the most precious year of my life ,How come I not make my parents feel proud , I could not fulfill their dreams?So many How’s & why’s pondered me over..It felt I would lose my mental balance, but suddenly amidst all this, the presence of someone changed my thoughts. My house lady had come over the next day to be with me, on knowing of the result. As I saw her, I jumped & hugged her so tightly & cried like hell..She let me cry..She heard me wailing..She heard all complaints towards God.. & Just narrated one line.. Baba ,you’ve not lost anything ,you’ve not lost me ,you’ve not lost love of your parents ,You’ve not lost love of your friends ,then why to act as a loser? See the love all have in their eyes, see the pain when you are in pain, Is it not sufficient, you will have more chances to succeed in life, give it another chance .Yes, her beautiful words acted as a pacifier to me & I controlled & decided to give myself another chance. But ,I wanted to move away from medical field (as I had so many bad memories of them) ,I consulted ,graduated in Biotechnology from Top Institute in India ,bagged a Gold Medal in my Graduation as well as Post Graduation & today I stand firm a, successful & ambitious professional ,a successful home maker & a mother to 7 month old kid.

Yes life teaches one a lot & mostly few people, their love & their simple guidance pour optimism in life.

For me, my house lady, Prerna aunty was & is everything to me, just like her name!

Similar is the positivity@ Housing.com .Do check out the link https://housing.com/ & the initiatives taken by them.

Blissful Journey!!

Motherhood is an amazing feeling, which imbibes in itself an emotion of love, care, merriment, compassion. But the road to motherhood is not an easy path, along with lovely sentiments, it does brings struggle towards the responsibilities, pouts of pain on hearing the cries, an unknown fear towards the future of child and many more. But not just the challenges begin post bringing the little baby in this world, but for a female, for a working female, the challenges begin much before.

As the nuclear family culture is on rise & joint family culture is nearly eroding, the decision to plan a baby for a working woman is the most difficult task .A female has to compromise on her career, on her ambition & opt for the family route. Similar was my situation some 1 year back ,the questions of continuation of my professional life hounded me day night .None of my family members would be with us for sure & it was just me who had to manage the little child & professional work load. The questions as –Would any of my family be there to support my desire of working post baby? Am I ready to take the responsibility of entering into the phase of motherhood? Can I nurture the child with full justice? My ambition towards my career will anytime be an impediment to this decision, whether it’s taken today or later on. But despite these questions ,one day this decision had to be taken, so, firmly the decision was taken & I welcomed my beautiful child some 7 months back.

My desire to continue with the profession was somewhere hidden for the fear of getting no support from the family for the first 3 months. I just tried thinking day night, but could not arrive at any solution to convince my family. Rather, looking at the strong sense of my in-laws to resign as soon as possible , was too hard for me to digest. How could I leave my career of 6 years behind? Why did I study so hard to have glorious academics & then have a successful career? It was not made for this day, a day that my child would be brought into this world, I would have to quit my other life. No, who so ever may protest, I had to be very firm on my mind-set & find some solution to cater to my ambitions, along with my child.

So the first step I took was to convince my husband ,& to the most pleasant surprise ,he was with me ,he lend me full support not to put a question mark on my career. This gave me immense strength & a confidence to manage up both the responsibilities with 100% justice. The very next day I decided to have a discussion with my management & started for my office.

The feeling of landing up at work place was so pleasant, so warm, a new hope of positivity ushered me.

Not just my husband ,my management was there with me ,so considerate & so understanding .They did gave me a chance to prove myself ,but being a new mom in a nuclear family ,I was allowed to initiate half day work from home. That was the biggest gift my management could have given me. Happily, I arranged for my maid to be with my kid for 4 hours during which I was away from home. For some 15 days I trained my maid on all the basics (although she was experienced) ,desires & naughtiness of my kid .I did gave out some time for my kid to get accustomed to the caretaker for few hours before joining the office. Things turned out very well, it has been 3 months that I have been working in this manner.

I’m with my kid from morning, prepare his meals daily (as he is in his weaning phase), start for the office & come back in 4 hours. Then it’s me, my kid & yes office work in between as & when I get time.

So really GOD is great, for every moment, for every desire he is there along with us .Anything tried deeply from the bottom of heart is bound to work sooner or later.

This was a new life for me, a life which I fought from the elders to live ,a life which I want every working female to understand that to begin a family should never be an obstacle to the hardly built up career. Not necessary one might get the support of management & husband the way I got, but it was my resolution to keep the head high. Even in the adverse situations, one can always be an entrepreneur & design their lives along a new path.

This phase has actually been blissful for me, my kid & my profession.

This blog has been written for https://housing.com/, wonderful change, and wonderful life. Do check out the beautiful video embedded-

Lost passion to Lost in Passion

Things that Define me?!!

“Working Marketing professional ,A mother &homemaker wandering across on weekends ,narrating them in the form of my writing passion ….This relates to my small world with lots & pots of zeal to conquer every moment ,to explore the unexplored ,to spend life travelling across ,kicking myself into acts of adrenaline rush ,& at the end of the day to be an innocent & lively girl of my parents ,to be the best love of my hubby & the Best mother of my 5 month old kid”!!!

Every person on this planet has some passion, some innate distinctive eminence which distinguishes one personality from another. It’s not just the uniqueness of the finger prints, but matchless adjectives ,exclusive hobbies that group together to form an identity.

The generalized formula to describe one would be : Adjectives +Passions & Hobbies

Well ,the adjectives that form me ,my personality ,in accordance with my name – JHILMIL = Joyous or Jocular (for my KID), Hearty, Intellectual, Lively, Meticulous Mom ;), Industrious, Lovable Wifey;) !

& Indeed most of them in some combination & with some extra’s as Possessiveness, Care, Responsible are innate qualities of a Women ,of a Mother.

So being a working Mother of a Kid ,it is not just a single passion yet alive in me ,but complete bouquet of passion to cater to my “Chanchal Mann”. Being grown up in a service class family ,with both parents working ,independence reigned me very soon .Being the youngest & the most loving kid in the family ,I was a victim of high expectations ,&targeted as “Parents dream Achiever “not just with respect to studies ,but in all extra-curricular activities be it sports or Dancing or Singing or Elocutions ,or Poetry or Drawing. Dragged into all ,I was not just a trained Kathak dancer but at the same time was Black Belt in karate ,100m Winner athlete, fine skilled in sketching (winning many competitions in School & district level) ,& a poetry reciting girl in many “Kavi sammelan’s” (poetry formed by my dad ,with great work in Urdu & Hindi) .All this instilled a sense of all round ambition in me! This ambition further grew as I went for higher studies & gave me a great success in my Graduation& MBA by winning a Gold Medal in both!

But all this while ,to fulfil my parents dreams, dreams which I saw in their eyes , which they could not achieve for themselves & in this journey of achieving immense happiness for them ,I somehow lost myself ,my & only my passions (which were sketching ,Writing articles & Blogs ,Travelling & opting for adventure activities ,exploring arts & local cuisines)

 So, losing on my actual passions in the passage of Life , I realized some time back ,with my husband pitching me strong enough to re-live my happy moments ,to enjoy what I actually love doing the most ,& then started my journey of so called “What it calls for -To re-live passion” !

I started all through, beginning with my profound love for pencil sketching ,which grew leaps & bounds ,from writing up my personal diary to Travel blogs & now to tech & Motherhood blogs ,from not just travelling for the sake to see but travelling for the sake to live my life on thrills ,on adventure ,to pounce on food not just to fill tummy, but to relish delicacies (although Veg. ) wherever I’am:)

Me being adventure Junkie, made me opt for activities as :

High tide rafting in Rishikesh ,Ladhak ,Teesta (gangtok) ,which unnerved my notion of rafting as a “Joyous merri -time ride”, while exploring level 3& 4 Rafting , Splendid, simply superb my heart pounding loud enough upon this achievement ,as I screamed , yelled ,tears flowing down the eyes with a smile on the faces thanking GOD for giving me such a scintillating memories of all our lives.

 40ft high Cliff jumping : An unnerving, sensation less feeling ,sudden shivering of hands & legs, face turning pale & driving me numb all  through, standing at the edge of the hillock .Thinking & praying all the Gods & pardoning for all misdeeds ,I just wished GOD to be my saviour  & yes I did it ,I plunged myself from this height into the hands of Ma Ganga. No words of Oxford could have ever described those flash of moments ,as soon as I bumped deep in the river & came out with loud thump with a sense of satisfaction !

 Under Sea Walk : With the turbulent water currents, strong weights put around my waist ,huge mask ,I was not even able to stand & I had to walk  ,this took little time to understand the underwater moves but it became an auto function soon, once we were surrounded by colourful corals ,beautiful yellow ,blue fishes  swimming around us & we giving small bread pieces to those beautiful free living creatures. Amazed to see huge corals ,all of different shapes! Simply Incredible tour of the under sea life !

 The Ultimate Sky Ride “Parasailing” : Tied up from our legs holding the strings of parachute set in a specific pose ,marked our readiness to fly high in the skies..1 minute more & yes it went up ,up & more up ,more high in the deep blue sky.Amazing ,no word could’ve explained that moment ,eyes wide opened ,peeping the surroundings ,across the vast ocean down ,our friends ,waving at us. Peeping down just shivered me ,as we sensed highness from the ocean. Simply Scintillating!

 A Gallantry act of Walk with Lions for 45 min: How to explain the moment seeing at two huge Lions coming out & marching straight towards us ,What a moment that was ,hearts beating in sync (more than 200 beats) ,body shivering & turning pale , but at the same moment this fabulous scene made us fall in love with the Majestic beasts. NO reservations against calling this as “WONDER OF WORLD” ,an adventure never to miss ,FEAR FACTOR & enthralling moment ,Panic & ecstatic feelings ,all gushing at the same time !

& many more thrills as Kayaking ,jet skiing ,Swimming with Dolphins ,Submarine ride ,Jungle adventures !

Apart from the thrill ,I found a love with my newly discovered Passion post marriage, that of cooking ,specially Baking Cakes (from the simplest vanilla cake, to have with coffee during leisure & reading time ,to the Apple crunchy cake, Carrot cake ,Marble &strawberry –Choco cheese cakes ),muffins as Choco & Banana muffins ,Garlic breads ,Various Italian delicacies (turning out to google for all brilliant recipes & copying with pride) .This has soaked me with immense happiness as a great cook & an ever-learning cook:)

It seems ,with the advent of every new phase in life ,with a broad open mind one does fall prey for many interests ,& I discovered a new passion of “Human Photography” with the onset of my Baby ! Well ,never into the pictorial mood for humans( yes ,I was an Avid photographer of Nature ,Of those humongous mountains, barren or snow clad ,free flowing river ,mesmerizing Flora & fauna during Safari’s) ,but arrival of my baby turned on my Photography genes which indulged me to upgrade from click & shoot camera to DSLR camera .Now the day passes photographing my kido in different swings ,moods actions & this is growing further to capture surrounding human emotions & art related to it.

Well, my list of passions is never gonna recede but will keep on flourishing with new statures ,new endeavours in life ,to give life a new meaning ,a new definition altogether.

 So ,I guess I can dynamically term myself ,A Traveloholic Professional Mother ,with great interests in Sketching, Photography & Food tasting cum cooking!

This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.

I’m MOM -Master of Multitasking: My Journey from Or to And

 My Journey from “Or to And”

“There cannot be true democracy unless women’s voices are heard. There cannot be true democracy unless women are given the opportunity to take responsibility for their own lives” – Hillary Rodham Clinton

Is women born to make sacrifices, to forgo her plans of life initially for the happiness of her parents, then for Husband & In laws & then for her Kids?

But the question comes as to Why only Women?? It has more to do with the Indian culture, the society we live in & the values in which we have been brought up ,the society which still assumes woman handling the sole responsibility of taking care of home & her family ,of nurturing the child ,but it has never ever thought of the working woman looking after home & nurturing the child .

Men ,if you ever wanna know what a woman’s mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2857 tabs open all the time ! She is multi-tasking!

Why are we assumed to perform only one task at a time ,Is it just an extension to the older times when women were confined to homes & men were treated as bread earners ?Why even when researches dominate that women are Multi tasker’s, as a result of their better planning & strategies ,our families still constrain us to go for the option of “OR” & most of the times that OR ,as per the family is opined towards betterment of family ,but to ask us ,it actually dwindles away the hopes & ambition of a women .A woman can easily manage a Lion’s share of household & childcare chores ,along with the sense of full or part time work ,which is because we tend to equate priorities ,organize our responsibilities& don’t just jump into. Studies say that “women might possess higher level of cognitive control than men wrt planning, monitoring and inhibiting behaviour”.

Well I believe ,that most of the Indian women might have faced these challenges in their lives & post resentment ,One would have fallen prey to family wishes discarding self inner feelings to pose as an idealistic Daughter or Wife or Mother. Bust ,just ask yourself ,are you so weak that to explore & nurture your ideas ,your ambition ,you need to fall prey to those emotional stings? We, The women have the qualities to dissuade, to convince our families & we are the best force to prove that we alone can handle & justify numerous tasks with 100% efficiency & competency.

Well ,like all I have also faced few instances wherein I was de-motivated (on the name of justice to role)& forced to opt for single role in the family ,but I was not the one to let my ambition pass away that soon ..I went ,I ran & caught them ,savoured the fruits of my ambition & corroborated my success not by judging the best responsibility done ,but by exemplifying myself as an “Epitome of Modern day Women ,a confident women ,who can manage her numerous roles hand in hand & that too with utmost ecstasy & excellence”.

So it all began ,(post 3 years of marriage)with elderly pressure flowing in on high, to expand the family ,but as these days ,wherein both the partners are working ,ambitious about their career & growth in life ,this tricky situation calls for a genuine delay & takes a toll on one ,especially on the feminine part of the wheel…But yes ,few questions kept pondering me then ,How long will I delay it? One day I’ll have to enter Motherhood & sensing a strong signal of taking a sabbatical from work to be a care taker. Would any of my family be there to support my desire of working post baby? Am I ready to take the responsibility of entering into the phase of motherhood? Can I nurture the child with full justice? My ambition towards my career will anytime be an impediment to this decision, whether it’s taken today or later on.

All these questions hovered around my mind, & after a huge bewilderment ,I was firm…My decision was yes ,I’ll enter into the phase ,let me take the life as it comes ,I’m not that weak to surrender my passion ,my charm. There needs to be 200% justice to both the objectives of Motherhood as well as of the Profession, the profession which gives you everything, from leading a desired lifestyle to the social significance & Motherhood ,which gives you the immense pleasure of life.

As was expected ,with the happiness ushering out of the little innocent tender baby ,it was at the back of the minds of my family ,to define & restrict me to only one role ,that of motherhood. & one day over the discussion ,this decision was enforced on me to quit my Profession & be a good Homemaker & caretaker of my kid ,none bothering to question my aspirations ,none hoping to find some mid solution to my ambition ,instead I was filled with so much of scepticism ,that if I opted for Job this time ,It would have filled me with deep guilt & would have proved that I could not be a good mother & been fair with my little kid. In their thoughts, The duty of a mother is only to care & up-bring her child.

Days & weeks passed by ,with the same thought pondering me ,but as my leaves came to an end ,I wanted to face this world booming with self confidence & make a new start by handling my profession as well as enjoying motherhood..

Our female leaders have all emerged out of these situations & this is the moment wherein a women needs to be balanced emotionally as well as intellectually! If Arundhati Bhattacharya ,Chanda Kochar , Kristin Armstrong could have done it few years back ,why can’t I? They have been my role models & I have to earn my name for the uphill tasks I’ve dealt in.

Few battles are worth fighting ,so, pretty decisive of not calling it a quit & enter into sabbatical, I went for a discussion with my management to impart some flexibility & I was so very thrilled on the first few words of my Manager ,A senior Vice president of the organization “ We feel women can handle multi-dimensional things & all at the same moment ,we believe that you are capable of doing justice to both the arduous professions & we ensure to be completely flexible & lend out support to fulfil both the chores” ! What else God! These words radiated a new Joy ,new shine & acted as morale booster to be proud of my decision to join back some 15 days later.

Well ,there was no looking back ,I drove swiftly back to my home to share my happiness with my husband & to my belief ,my husband stood out with me ,embracing my thoughts ..What a respite that was! Suddenly winds seemed to be blowing from other end ,calming me down ,inducing productive thoughts ,ushering a new ray of cheerfulness around me. Quickly entered into the mode of employing a fulltime helper (known to me for past 2 years),training her to feed my baby ,sing lullabies , to make him sleep, play with him, during few 3-4 hours when I would be at my office .Observing her for a week gave a thumbs up ,as my darling gelled with the good caretaker. Belief was the biggest factor ,in the absence of any family member ,keeping the kid alone with the helper even for an hour was tedious ,but yes our mutual faith made it happen!

Preparations for my Day1 at office began ,rescheduling all the work timelines ,prioritizing them ,making my baby comfortable ,feeding &massaging him ,cooking lunch was what I was supposed to do before my day started at office & I did complete all the tasks in hand on time ,with very much the same passion& warmth as it was earlier! Returning from office demanded my baby’s bathing ,changing ,feeding ,playing ,to be his mini Joker , more kiddish & big chatterbox, singing all self –formed lullabies ,talking all non sense ,making silly faces & laughing from nowhere ,just to see smile & happiness on his face, sharing all these intimate moments with him to show my love ,compassion & care for him.(& yes making presentations ,data mining, in between for the office work)

Day 1 was super anxious ,meeting all the colleagues ,answering their queries ,it was a wonderful re-union I felt !It was also an inspiring moment for 2 of my female colleagues who were expecting in some time(& with the same circumstances of family apprehensions ,nuclear family stand) ,this feeling to motivate them ,to steer them towards their sense of independence became my aspiration ,I yearning for them to not chose “OR” but be a part of “AND” fraternity & celebrate the happiness of life!

It’s been some 3-3.5 months now ,though things have become pretty hectic but it has not drained me .A look at my life ,my baby de-stresses me out completely & I’ve discovered a new energy in my working styles. I can proudly say that I’m giving my 100% to both my love (Motherhood & profession) & none of my responsibility stands out neglected or undermined. My aspiration to touch pinnacles in my career, along with blessing my kid with all “Sanskaras” ,all support to let him grow into a confident,responsible young man remain intact!

Well ,on a lighter note ,I’m not just managing 2 biggest tasks hand in hand…But yes my first passion ,my first love (before my profession & kid came into my life) –my write ups in the form of Blogs ,keep kindling me up & spreaden the aura of radiance around me..

So I’m a happy Manager ,An ecstatic Mother ,A thrilled Blogger ,A magnificent Home maker & A Contented Human Being!

Hats off to the modern women!! Welcome us & help us inspire many more!

This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.