Not so Glorious

I’m a Strong Woman,

I can break all the stereotypes

                                      Don’t judge me by my looks..
                                      As I’m a beauty with Brains

                                      Yes, I’m a multi-tasker,      
                            I can be a Mom or a Model or a CEO,
Change your thoughts & let our fraternity give our dreams a fly, well above all the on-lookers
“Wow, that’s like my daughter, you’ve secured highest in Class 12^th, one of the best in Biology, I’m so proud of you. You know Srishti, I always wanted to be a Doctor but I could never become one, I really want you to be one, work more hard in the Medical entrance & give my dreams a fly.

But ma ,I don’t want to be a Doctor ,rather my interest lies in pursuing high in Biotechnology & become a scientist ,I wish to do researches on Onco-genes ,which are cancerous cells .Since you are also aware that till date there is no 100% cure for cancer & so many people across the globe lose their lives ,I want to work to give such patients a life of heaven & not hell .

Srishti, that’s fine, but do you know you are an Indian girl, pursuing all these will take so much time of your life, a PHED will itself will take close to 4-5 years & such tedious researches may take many more..Further, I don’t even feel that there are many such institutes in India which can help you pursue your dream.

Hey mom, India does have, but I’m as such targeting an International university which is already into it.

Srishti, I cannot allow you to go abroad.

But why mom? What’s the harm in it? I’m going to pursue something good for human race, I wish to go to US bringing back something innovative & curative attributes .I’m not going there to enjoy or burn out my efficiency in roaming around.

Shrishti ,try to understand beta ,you have 4-5 years to study & then we plan to get you married to some good guy & then pursue what you wish to..What will the society say that we have sent our young daughter all alone?

Mom, your dreams went unfulfilled, now you wish my dream also to remain dream?”

The rugged conversation ended with a deep silence!! Somehow that conversation had a break there but destiny wanted to shower goodies to Shrishti, as she was pretty successful in convincing her Dad, who had always wanted her to nurture her thoughts & fly high!

So a month later, all found her engrossed in filling up the applications for the Entrance tests & with her perseverance she got selected in one of the best universities in California ,where she wanted to be ! Next 3 months which involved in all the preparations, arranging for Student Visa , & packing up the bags ,as she was ready to flyJ

But those days filled up the place with numerous gossips & minds with many agonizing judgements.

See aunty is sending Srishti all alone, she is so vulnerable, they don’t have any known there, how will she cope up?

She just knows how to make a coffee for herself, who will do all the rest for her?

How can they believe the foreigners, just have a look at their culture, I’m dam sure she will come back a ruined child..

You know she could even marry someone & return back..

Blah Blah..What not all did I hear? For the very first time, I felt myself ridden in this stereotypic society, with such a negative blend of mindsets surrounding us. Had it been a boy or for that sake my cousin brothers, these insomniacs would have been clapping & boasting, see he has gone foreign for higher studies.

It happens & yes you have to be strong enough to completely ignore these buzzing bees around, affirming these lines, I moved on to foster my mission .I got the opportunity to work with the best people in this world, which not many people get .Not just professionally but leading a hard life there made me lot stronger personally as well. I learned to cook, clean my dishes, and sanitize my room along with the research for mankind. It had been close to a year I was settled there, when my mom along with one of my aunt longed to visit me . Happily I made all the requisite arrangements, not just to stay but researched a lot to ensure they enjoy travelling around .I had gone completely extrovert, a bold girl sustaining herself to accomplish her dreams.

Welcoming & hugging Mom & Aunt made me a happy being; I longed for an emotional touch & waited for a year to sleep in mom’s lap. But It is often said, people don’t like changes & so my aunt !

“Shrishti it seems you always roam around in a tee & Jeans beta ,don’t forget our Indian Traditions .You’ve also started driving ,in our home town its usually our mates ,the males of family who drive you. I’m not trying to make the environment gloomy but beta don’t forget that you’ll return back soon to Jalandhar & have a different pie of life.”

I couldn’t resist myself , “In India does wearing jeans & Tee ,driving for studies by a girl is looked upon as a disaster? If yes ,let me do the disaster ,I’m still the same Shrishti with respect for elders & people in heart ,I dress up soberly ,I drive for my studies & not roam around ,I’ve learnt to prepare meals ,the one I didn’t for past 16 years ,I’ve learnt to be self dependent in every term which my home didn’t made me. I’m a very much Indian by heart & yes I know where my roots lie at.”

Nothing looking back, I could just see my Mom hugging & praising me all the more!

This was one of the worst stance in my life ,wherein I had to prove to my own family ,It did hurt me ,but yes that’s the challenge in a stereotypic society & I had countered it humbly ,stating that #IAmCapable J ,A girl is capable to handling everything ,she is a multi-takser ,she is an image of Godess ,never ever under estimate the power a woman carries.

It’s actually not shocking to see the way a women is judged, few startling figures that the Nihar Naturals #IAmCapable survey conducted by Nielsen India reveals:

a. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks.

b. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.

c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.

d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.

Girls, let’s just bang on & break all these classifications, let’s pledge & change the mindsets that people bring along with our physical attributes.

“I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.”

Check out one of Nihar Naturals’ #IAmCapable stories in the video below!

 

My Memoir

Everyone in this world need love ,an unconditional love be it from Spouse or Parents or Siblings or close friends ,as this love is the panorama which provides immense strength ,faith in ourselves ,it acts as a booster dose to move ahead in life post failures or agonies ,it is the only refresher which motivates one to take the risk ,go ahead & capture the dreams sought after .

However strong one may be ,there is always an emotional side of a person ,which always need expression in some form or the other ,which might be in the form of immense care or it could be just 5 minutes of togetherness which fills life with radiance. Being an ambitious girl with respect to studies & career & post that marriage has posed many challenges in front of me ,there were many instances in my life wherein my parents & my friends ushered a new light ,a new hope in my life ,looking at the negative circumstances with optimism ,fighting against the odds & moving ahead in life. For me, Love & support from them has always been the riding factor of life.

With such a beautiful topic in hand relating challenges with optimism, I would love to narrate one of the incident during the fundamental & the most decisive year in my education life. With high hopes & dreams to have a tag of “Dr.” ,I was deeply & madly engrossed in my preparation of entrance for MBBS .I has given my complete 1 year for the preparation ,with average of 18 hours of study daily to excel & ensure my parent’s dream come true. Such had been the condition, that my house lady pitied me upon, & took special care of me in all terms, be it food, or freshness or love or any of my requisite. Seeing me so much engrossed in my dreams, she herself made a motive to be my endearing support & help me out in all possible manners. From morning till night ,she was there besides me & acted like a second mother to me(in the absence of my mom with me ,as I was in another town to take up the tutorials).She used to check me out in the night ,& even sometimes made me sleep in her lap. Such was her radiance that her one smile made me calm & ushered optimism in me. Days & months passed by ,we had filled up some 3 entrance test ,3 best in India ,but the seats in comparison to the applications has always been a challenge for the top tier institutes but I had a firm confidence in me up clearing the entrances for top notch ones.

The day came to write up the exams, with folded hands, my time either went to pray to God or to just revise my hardwork, & exams did go well &I was desperate to see the outcome of my work. Post writing up my exams, I had moved back to my home, to be with my family & have some quality time. But the phase between writing exams & announcement of the results always kept on hounding me & aggravated my feelings on seeing the frequent discussion about it at home. It was the worst phase ,neither could I laugh loudly nor could I be as I was …For me ,it was just the result awaited which would decide upon my fate.

One month later ,results announced ,1^st test I was 4^th Waiting ,2^nd Test I was 10^th & 3^rd I did not clear all together ..So shattered I was …No one could guarantee waiting clearance, my mind stopped working, I was into tears, where did I lose? Where could have I been negligent ,How did I miss the most precious year of my life ,How come I not make my parents feel proud , I could not fulfill their dreams?So many How’s & why’s pondered me over..It felt I would lose my mental balance, but suddenly amidst all this, the presence of someone changed my thoughts. My house lady had come over the next day to be with me, on knowing of the result. As I saw her, I jumped & hugged her so tightly & cried like hell..She let me cry..She heard me wailing..She heard all complaints towards God.. & Just narrated one line.. Baba ,you’ve not lost anything ,you’ve not lost me ,you’ve not lost love of your parents ,You’ve not lost love of your friends ,then why to act as a loser? See the love all have in their eyes, see the pain when you are in pain, Is it not sufficient, you will have more chances to succeed in life, give it another chance .Yes, her beautiful words acted as a pacifier to me & I controlled & decided to give myself another chance. But ,I wanted to move away from medical field (as I had so many bad memories of them) ,I consulted ,graduated in Biotechnology from Top Institute in India ,bagged a Gold Medal in my Graduation as well as Post Graduation & today I stand firm a, successful & ambitious professional ,a successful home maker & a mother to 7 month old kid.

Yes life teaches one a lot & mostly few people, their love & their simple guidance pour optimism in life.

For me, my house lady, Prerna aunty was & is everything to me, just like her name!

Similar is the positivity@ Housing.com .Do check out the link https://housing.com/ & the initiatives taken by them.

Blissful Journey!!

Motherhood is an amazing feeling, which imbibes in itself an emotion of love, care, merriment, compassion. But the road to motherhood is not an easy path, along with lovely sentiments, it does brings struggle towards the responsibilities, pouts of pain on hearing the cries, an unknown fear towards the future of child and many more. But not just the challenges begin post bringing the little baby in this world, but for a female, for a working female, the challenges begin much before.

As the nuclear family culture is on rise & joint family culture is nearly eroding, the decision to plan a baby for a working woman is the most difficult task .A female has to compromise on her career, on her ambition & opt for the family route. Similar was my situation some 1 year back ,the questions of continuation of my professional life hounded me day night .None of my family members would be with us for sure & it was just me who had to manage the little child & professional work load. The questions as –Would any of my family be there to support my desire of working post baby? Am I ready to take the responsibility of entering into the phase of motherhood? Can I nurture the child with full justice? My ambition towards my career will anytime be an impediment to this decision, whether it’s taken today or later on. But despite these questions ,one day this decision had to be taken, so, firmly the decision was taken & I welcomed my beautiful child some 7 months back.

My desire to continue with the profession was somewhere hidden for the fear of getting no support from the family for the first 3 months. I just tried thinking day night, but could not arrive at any solution to convince my family. Rather, looking at the strong sense of my in-laws to resign as soon as possible , was too hard for me to digest. How could I leave my career of 6 years behind? Why did I study so hard to have glorious academics & then have a successful career? It was not made for this day, a day that my child would be brought into this world, I would have to quit my other life. No, who so ever may protest, I had to be very firm on my mind-set & find some solution to cater to my ambitions, along with my child.

So the first step I took was to convince my husband ,& to the most pleasant surprise ,he was with me ,he lend me full support not to put a question mark on my career. This gave me immense strength & a confidence to manage up both the responsibilities with 100% justice. The very next day I decided to have a discussion with my management & started for my office.

The feeling of landing up at work place was so pleasant, so warm, a new hope of positivity ushered me.

Not just my husband ,my management was there with me ,so considerate & so understanding .They did gave me a chance to prove myself ,but being a new mom in a nuclear family ,I was allowed to initiate half day work from home. That was the biggest gift my management could have given me. Happily, I arranged for my maid to be with my kid for 4 hours during which I was away from home. For some 15 days I trained my maid on all the basics (although she was experienced) ,desires & naughtiness of my kid .I did gave out some time for my kid to get accustomed to the caretaker for few hours before joining the office. Things turned out very well, it has been 3 months that I have been working in this manner.

I’m with my kid from morning, prepare his meals daily (as he is in his weaning phase), start for the office & come back in 4 hours. Then it’s me, my kid & yes office work in between as & when I get time.

So really GOD is great, for every moment, for every desire he is there along with us .Anything tried deeply from the bottom of heart is bound to work sooner or later.

This was a new life for me, a life which I fought from the elders to live ,a life which I want every working female to understand that to begin a family should never be an obstacle to the hardly built up career. Not necessary one might get the support of management & husband the way I got, but it was my resolution to keep the head high. Even in the adverse situations, one can always be an entrepreneur & design their lives along a new path.

This phase has actually been blissful for me, my kid & my profession.

This blog has been written for https://housing.com/, wonderful change, and wonderful life. Do check out the beautiful video embedded-